This week we kind of cheated and played a game called Super Seducer: How to Talk to Girls. It’s more a choose-your-own adventure cinematic pickup game than an actual movie. But between the bad acting and horrible advice we think this qualifies as a terrible viewing experience. So as usual we grabbed some beers and came up with a Super Seducer Drinking Game!
Basically this game is a series of absolutely terrible “dating advice” from “renowned seduction guru” Richard La Ruina. The idea is the game puts you in “realistic” scenarios where you have to make decisions on how to make a stranger go home with you.
The reason I’m using so many quotation marks here is because none of this game makes any sense. All the options range from extremely-creepy to just-plain-wrong.
The “correct” options
Right off the bat this game will show you just how nonsensical it is. The very first scenario has you walking past a girl on the street and you have to get her attention. Apparently the proper way to do this is to block her path like a demented linebacker and then talk about squirrels for the next 20 minutes.
Another highlight from the correct answers section is to tell women at the bar that you’re a vegan and that they are terrible people for eating meat. Then explain supply and demand to them like they’re toddlers and call every girl at the table a murderer. No joke; selecting this option counts as a pass and you move on to the next scenario.
The “incorrect” options
Now this is where the game really gets hilarious. One of the early favorites is “Pretend you’re an ass model and then try to touch her ass”. No surprise here this genius strategy doesn’t work. But what makes it so great is that once the main character Richard starts digging a hole he just keeps digging and usually has some kind of offhanded comment calling the woman a slut as she rejects him. It’s absolutely shocking that he thinks anyone needs to know this isn’t a good idea. This first scenario also has such gems as “Start touching yourself and talk about nuts”.
Another early favorite is on the second scenario when you’re tasked with picking up two girls at the bar. One of the very initial conversation opening options is “Ask what you like in a girl, and then tell them it’s your dick”. Now maybe I’m not a “pickup guru” like the renowned Richard La Ruina, but I’m pretty sure this move usually results in either a slap or being escorted out by security.
Nope. These girls then ask to see his dick. Which he promptly shows them, and then they only reject him because it’s too small. I’m not sure what world Richard is living in but I don’t think I want to know. Well anyway on to our Super Seducer drinking game rules.
The Super Seducer Drinking Game
To make things a little more interesting we made the goal of the drinking game to get the wrong answers. Because those were always way funnier than the right answers anyway.
Players take turns in rotation picking options for this game.
- If they get a completely correct answer they drink 5 times (This is noted by a full sized heart in the top right)
- If they get a half-correct answer they drink 3 times (This is noted by a half heart in the top right)
- If they get rejected so hard that the girl insults Richard they drink once.
- If they get rejected so hard that the girl physically attacks or slaps Richard, they drink twice.
That about covers it for our Super Seducer drinking game. Just keep playing until you can’t stomach any more awkward sexist interactions. Our coverage of this game only really scratched the surface with the first two scenarios and there’s many more to explore so pick your favorite venue to creep out chicks, grab a few beers, and get ready to play one of the most hilariously awful video games you’ll ever play. If there’s any other hilariously awful movies or games you wanted us to try out feel free to contact us and let us know and we’ll get to it as soon as possible!