Bad Beers and Bad Movies Ep # 10 – Trapped in the Closet

Trapped In The Closet Drinking Game -

For the uninitiated, R Kelly came out with a 33 part musical hip-hopera. And yes it’s exactly as ridiculous as it sounds. Every single episode contains a ridiculous twist and the entire show is sung. not a single word is spoken normally. So naturally this goes perfectly with some low quality beers.

The entire series focuses on characters coming out of the closet. Literally and figuratively. It’s a series of twists that try to one up each other. The series is made much better for the fact that it seems like nobody ever told R Kelly that it wasn’t working. So he just kept making them for years.

There’s many reasons that this might be the greatest piece of sub-par television ever made but we’ll start with the most obvious ones.


The Highlights

Watching Actors Struggle

R Kelly sings every line. So every actor in this movie is forced to try and mouth the words to Kelly’s ridiculous drawn out voice and it’s amazing. Including instances where he sings the same word multiple times in a row or occasionally just random humming noises.


And I Pull out my Gun!

Everyone has a gun and pulls it out when you least expect it. It’s almost an obsession every character has to pull out their gun at the most inopportune moments. From escaping closets to trying to calm down situations there’s apparently no bad time to pull out a Beretta.


R Kelly Literally Stealing the Show

Lastly as the series goes on more and more of the characters simply become R Kelly in costumes. Including a pimp and an old man. Plus him trying to do the voice of a white southern woman never gets old.

The Drinking Game

Drink one whenever:

  • Someone says the word “closet”
  • Anyone goes in or out of a closet.
  • Any character pulls out their gun.
  • A character talks about a gun.
  • A word is rhymed with itself.
  • The same word is used multiple times in a row.
  • R Kelly’s pitch slowly becomes higher and higher as he sings.
  • Any word is stretched out much longer than normal. (Like when R Kelly puts his phone on ViiiIIIIiiibrate)
  • There is a plot twist.
  • They say “(insert name) says:”.


The Verdict

Trapped in the Closet is probably one of the most ridiculous things you can ever watch. And these drinking rules will come up all the time so it will certainly be a lot of drinking during pretty well any episode. We sat down and watched the full 33 released episodes but we don’t expect anyone else to do the same. So feel free to just take a few episodes at a time because it only takes a couple to get the just of the series.