Sometimes you wanna relax and enjoy a few brews. And other times you just wanna get the job done as quickly as possible. So we devised a list of the five quickest ways to chug a beer so you don’t have to spend your whole night wondering “what could have been?”. In no particular order here is what we believe to get you from zero-to-drunk in a hurry.
5 Quickest Ways to Chug a Beer
As made popular by movies like Fubar, this is a tried and true method. First, carefully, you must stab a whole in a beer. To do this a pocket knife or a key works best, just make sure not to get any metal into the beer itself. Make sure when you stab the beer that the area where you’re stabbing is the highest point on the beer, this is so that nothing will pour out when you make the whole.
Then when you’re ready, put your mouth on the hole and lift the beer up. Quickly after crack the beer open by pulling the tab and start chugging. Having the added airway should help with chugging the beer quickly.
I’m sure you’ve seen one of these set up before. It’s exactly as it sounds. Funneling some sweet nectar into your body. The trick to this is making sure the funnel is as vertical as possible before starting the chug and also letting the foam cool down so it flows a little easier.
This method works the same way as the Can Shotgun but with a bottle. All you need for this is a bottle of beer and a bendy straw. Simply put a straw in the beer, making sure the bendy party faces away from you, and start chugging!
This works because the straw allows for air to escape so you can avoid the glugging and let the beer flow much quicker.
If you’re looking for a way to make beer shotgunning easier, we suggest checking out the
The Sabertooth Raw: Beer Shotgunning Tool
Well, this isn’t necessarily a faster option. Just a funner option. The beer boot is a popular way to drink beers that’s seen screen time on movies such as Beerfest. The key to drinking out of this boot is to turn it as you reach the toe, which should cause the beer to quickly funnel down your throat instead of splashing into your face.
Just Downing It
If you’re looking for a break from all the ridiculous contraptions of the other methods. There’s a couple small tricks to this, like knocking the beer on the table before chugging to release carbon dioxide and make it a bit smoother. But basically you just want to open your throat and have ‘atter.
Bonus: BierStick, the Beer Syringe.
This one is a bit more obscure but it’s actually quicker than any other method on this list. Basically you fill the giant plastic tube with beer and rocket it into your face at speeds that must be setting some kind of record.
Despite how crazy this thing seems it’s actually incredibly smooth. In my opinion it’s actually better in every way than the modern beer bong.
If you liked our list of quickest ways to chug a beer, you might be well suited to some drinking games like Flip Cup or Boom Cup! Please remember to drink responsibly. The over consumption of alcohol can get very serious very quickly and you should exercise caution when drinking.